Just another vanity project

When I’m standing in her office, semi-venting* about a problem I have but also looking for her to point me in the right direction on how to put out a fire I may have inadvertently caused and there she is:

Scooping out mushy chunks of cereal out of her bowl and dumping it, spoon by spoon, into her wastebasket.

Listen lady, I’m talking to you. And what I’m saying isn’t all that trivial, either.

(…I’m only now stewing over this, almost 12 hours after this ‘conversation’ happened. WTF.)

*Def. not the same as un-constructively complaining in circles.

And I’m eating a salted chili chocolate donut and sipping on gin and juice* a masterful mug of chai.

I’m an adult and I make adult decisions.

There are sweet potatoes baking in the oven for what will surely be a sensible dinner later tonight.

*No, because even that’s a tad reckless, even for me.

I’ve hinted at our decade.5-long friendship here before, and this is the scene that pretty much crystallizes it completely for me:

Labour Day Monday, empty plaza parking lot, Markham (my old stomping grounds and where we first met), windows down, radio on, The Edge 102.1 playing the Top 200 songs of the 90s…

#46: Champagne Supernova, Oasis

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.

We broke out singing wailing in unison - air drums, air gee-tars, synced head bobbing and all the rest. No one else in the backseat even tried to pretend they knew what was going on and sat there quietly until it was over. 

I had a McFlurry craving around dinnertime, before even deciding what was for dinner. So I marched over to the Loblaws, picked up a tub of plain 3% yogurt and came home and made myself a granola and fruit parfait. Two birds, one stone, I figure.

In no particular order -

• Popeye’s Tuesday Meal Deal
• BBC1
• Women’s weightlifting (Not even being facetious. I’m SO into it and I have no idea why. I’m not even qualified to join the smallest weight class!)
• Beach Volleyball
• How if there was a medal event for the most bronze medals won at the Olympics, Canada would most likely win…bronze

My stomach hurts SO MUCH from a lethal combination of skipping lunch + suppressed gas (CAN’T FART IN FRONT OF THE BOSS LADY) but I’m also too hungry to not scarf down my stewed beef and curried potato takeout. Finally getting some food in me is at once SO SATISFYING and also a lot like getting punched in the gut at the same time. Awesome.

I resigned myself to spending upwards of $400 on a PC laptop this weekend so that I could take on some design projects using a program that only runs on Windows…or so I thought.

Sometimes all you have to do is read the instruction manual: The installer will automatically run on Windows. On Macintosh, you must double-click the Install Icon.

Boom.

I bought this design software back in 2006 when I was a student at a conference in Maryland. It set me back at least $500 at the time and just saved me $400 and another piece of obsolete technology.

***

These last couple of weeks I’ve been on the hunt for a new ‘stainless steel’ dishrack. I use the term loosely since it appears to mean stainless up to 6 months before finding new purpose as a breeding ground for tetanus. I’ve searched high and low and lamented to anyone who would listen about my futile search. Until C casually mentioned she had a spare dishrack lying around she doesn’t use thanks to the advent of the dishwashing machine and do I want to swing by and pick it up? It’s not stainless but it’s also not moldy OR rusty and will buy me a few more weeks (or months) in my search.

Sometimes all you have to do is say what you need out loud and the Universe - or a good friend - will put out (but not in that way).

***

Cadbury Mini Eggs are the devil. Just because they’re available year-round doesn’t mean I don’t want them more at Easter time.

Sometimes all you have to do is eat like, a dozen or more in one sitting to get it out of your system and move on.

***

This last one isn’t a lesson as much as it is an appreciation for the easy shorthand I’ve ever shared with 2, maaaybe 3 people in life if I think hard and far enough. (I currently have just one person in mind as I type this.) We’ve grown close, then apart, and had a whole ocean and 5 years put between us. This April marks one year since her return and our reunion back then was like no time had passed, just like they say. It sounds lazy but I prefer effortless. I’m reflecting on this now because of the distinct possibility that she’ll take off again this fall. And who knows how long this next phase of our friendship will be but as the years ebb and flow, I realize she’s become more like a sister to me.

So good I forgot to take a picture.

Obsessing Over: Scramble with Friends. Jeremy Lin. (Obvs.)

Working On: My form. M had me doing dead lifts, presses and squats in the basement. Everything hurts.

Thinking About: The rest of the week.

Anticipating: The bison chuck roast we’ll be making in a few hours. It cost $30 so let’s not mess this up.

Listening To: M’s yoga-induced grunting/breathing. Chopping sounds from the kitchen.

Drinking: [glancing over at my empty Starbucks cup] Hmmm… It just might be tea time.

Wishing: That every day was Family Day.

So I suppose the cold cockles of my black heart are made a little warmer this Valentine’s Day but that doesn’t mean I can’t still mock its irrelevance.

As Nelson would say, Haw haw!

A. Age: Creeping on 28 in June.

B. Bed size: Queen? Double? I can never tell the difference. Going with double. I sleep only on one side like it’s a twin - even when I’m alone.

C. Chore that you hate: Dusting wherever there’s nasty black dust (hello, window sills!) Folding laundry. Cleaning the stovetop. Dishes that have stockpiled in my one tiny sink basin.

D. Dogs: A couple weeks ago, M’s friend had to put his down and I was bad at being… sympathetic. I just don’t know what losing a pet feels like, really. Although one of my goldfish died a gruesome, brutal death years ago and I sobbed. 

E. Essential start to your day: I flip between coffee and tea. To keep things fresh and to keep my dependency on either one at bay. Yeah, right. 

F. Favorite color: Purple.

G. Gold or Silver: All the silver I’ve ever owned just looks dirty and tarnished over time so maybe gold by virtue of it being easier to maintain.

H. Height: 5’1.75”

I. Instruments you play: Played piano and clarinet, but does it count if I practiced almost exclusively on a keyboard? In any case, was never a natural at either but definitely enjoyed the latter more and was subsequently better at it.

J. Job title: FUNemployed photographer/occasional videographer.

K. Kids: Are a ways away.

L. Live: A day-to-day existence.

M. Mother’s name: Cindy.

N. Nicknames: I don’t mind legit made-up silly nicknames as much as shortened versions of my name which turn into different names of their own as in, THAT’S NOT MY NAME. At the height of Arrested Development’s popularity, I answered to Ahnyung which got a pass then but looking back, I hated it.

O. Overnight hospital stays: I’m pretty sure that one time when I was rushed to Emerg because I was doing the running man, in heels, in my friend Emily’s room and slipped and fell on the floor. On my face. I was six. I was greeted by my Dad the next morning with a Snoopy grape juice box.

P. Pet peeves: Crumbs. Stepping on wetness in my bare feet. Anything to do with my feet touching anything remotely dirty on the floor. Mouth breathers on the subway. Oily hands (and the things people touch with them). Whenever I break my own shit due to my carelessness.

Q. Quote from a movie:”Jesus.” I’m sure someone said that somewhere.

R. Right- or left-handed: Left.

S. Siblings: Just the one (younger).

U. Underwear: Never thongs.

V. Vegetable(s) you hate: I eat all vegetables but cucumber and celery are a waste of my time.

W. What makes you run late: Last-minute tidying up. Taking out the trash. Doing the damn dishes. Again! For the tenth time! Doubling back for my phone. Jaywalking during rush hour when my chances of becoming roadkill shoot up a gazillion percent but I’ll stand there instead of walking aaaall the way to the lights to cross.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: Mouth and knee.

Y. Yummy food that you make: Curried mussels and steamed Chinese broccoli/greens with my special sauce.

Z. Zoo animal: Elephants but they’re moving out of town soon. :( tempered with :) because they’ll be happier wherever it isn’t -20C. Which is here every year except this one, apparently.